What an unprecedented time!  Emotions are high, and we all need some “happy” things to keep us motivated, uplifted and comforted. 

This quote is becoming more well-known since the release of the Mr. Rogers movie, starring Tom Hanks.  Mr. Rogers said: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

There Are Many Discouraging Challenges

Unfortunately, it is all too easy to see the “bad” sometimes.  This can be especially true at horse shows, or in boarding and training barns too… not just our breed, and not just certain disciplines.  It seems to be universal!  Humans are wonderful and can also be horrible.  

Just this morning, there was a run in with one of my clients and another border at our barn.  There was even physical contact used!  I couldn’t believe it.  That was a first for me! 

As a youth and amateur rider, I got burned out of the things I was seeing, hearing, feeling and experiencing.  I got caught up in focusing on the politics, the gossiping and the backstabbing that goes on.  It was horrid.  Sadly, those things happening amid what my family was going through, outweighed my love of showing the horses, and I did not show horses for 11 years.  

When I decided to come back in, I made a highly conscious decision to come back in and make the environment that I wanted for myself, my own kids, and my clients.  I knew I could either leave my head buried in the sand and let people-problems interfere with my love of showing horses, or I could choose what to focus on and give my energy to, so that I could enjoy showing horses again.  

This meant a few things:  I couldn’t join in in any gossip type behaviors; I would have rules of conduct for my own barn family that we would adhere to as best we can; and above all, I would have to keep FINDING THE GOOD.  

You Have a CHOICE on What You Focus On

When one CHOOSES to “find the helpers”, like Mr. Roger’s mother told him, you will find them!  I chose to FOCUS on the “good” things.  I wanted to “see” a different world at the horse shows and at the barn.  It hasn’t always been easy the last few years.  There have been plenty of incredibly serious situations that could have chased me off again.  Not this time.  I love horses and horse shows too much.  

When I started focusing on something else… the GOOD… do you know what happened?  That is what I started seeing.  I see it more, and more, and more.  The good can, and does, outweigh the difficult things for me.  I can’t make drama disappear, but I can choose my level of involvement with it.  What I chose, is to put my energy into the horses, and into creating a fun and positive environment for my clients, where they feel empowered even amid the struggles.  

Making the determination to be cheerful and helpful at the shows has made me more horse show friends now, among trainers, than I ever had before as a youth and amateur rider.  

Hearing from Some of our ‘Big Time’ Trainers

To help us all focus on the GOOD that can happen at horse shows, I asked a few trainers and exhibitors for some of their experiences where they were helped or supported by other trainers/exhibitors.  The question I asked them was, “Do you have any examples of another time a trainer or exhibitor from a different barn was helpful and supportive to you?”

Wendy Potts answered, Yes, there are so many!  When I was a young trainer in CA, I was shy and would never even talk to “big” trainers.  Lucky for me, I had a boyfriend that was a very outgoing halter trainer.  Unlike me, he befriended everyone.  I got lots of help with my English horses from Brian Murch.  David Shockly attempted to teach me how to drive.  I am eternally grateful to them as I had never had anyone help me with English horses and not only were they incredibly talented, but they did it out of kindness.  

LaRae Fletcher Powell shared this account with us: 

Years ago, when I was a young trainer, I showed a Purebred Stallion, Adaanis, who I eventually won the Open Trail at U.S. Nationals 3 different years along with a Reserve Champion in Reining at Canadian Nationals and numerous Top Tens. In 1988, we decided to attend the Action Show in Tucson, AZ. This show ran in February before Scottsdale. It was a show just for Working Western Arabians and had added money. Was a big deal back then. I took 2 other horses to this show as well as Adaanis. 

The last day, I was warming up Adaanis for my draw in the PB Stock Horse Maturity Class. As I was loping him around, all of a sudden he just slammed on the brakes and wouldn’t move. This was a horse that gave me 100% all of the time, every ride. It was so unlike him. I jumped off and didn’t know what to do. Two trainers came over to me quickly and told me that he was tying up. I had never experienced that with a horse before and had no idea what to do. The one trainer told me to get him untacked, while the other ran and got some meds. She came back with a syringe of some Ace (Tranquilizer) and a syringe of Banamine and administered them(as this was not a rated show and didn’t have an On call Vet), as at that time, I also I had never given an IV injection either, which of course, that is one of the first things that I made sure that I learned when I got home from that show. 

Even though Adaanis didn’t get to show there, he did go on to the Scottsdale show and did just fine. It was a one time freak thing that day with that horse that was never repeated. I was very grateful for the other Trainers that jumped into help and have always returned the favor to any other trainers, especially young ones coming up in the business.

Erica Silbernagel, from Arabian Horse Exchange said: 

Everyone in the warmup ring is usually pretty friendly with saying ‘good luck’ and ‘congratulations’!  I feel like support comes from people you know in general, no matter what barn you are in. 

BIG TIME Community Support!

One of the most outwardly obvious displays of support and community occurred just within this last month.  There are several people in our Arabian Horse industry battling cancer right now.  I was very moved to see trainers across the nation join in on shaving their heads, and doing an online charity event to show support and help raise money for these individuals.  The video is VERY moving.  Here is the link if you’d like to watch!  https://www.facebook.com/ahtimes/videos/996833227385618/

Close to $50,000 was raised in our community to help these Cancer Warriors. 

Due to the COVID-19 situation, there was also an anonymous donor to the Arabian Horseman’s Distress Fund, and many that applied for financial assistance due to loss of income were able to receive some. 

There are mountains of great people in our industry.  We might not always agree and being competitive is good and fun!  

The moral of the story is, what you focus on, GROWS, and we would like to encourage all of you to focus on the good people, the good moments, and the good things.  We can continue to cultivate kindness and inclusion and make the horse show world better and better for generations to come.  We are family! 

Here are some ideas of how you can join the positivity! 

Ideas while we’re at home:  

• Comment compliments on people’s posts!  This is a great way to make friends too.  
• Reflect on the “good” things and the good times you have had with your horse show family. 
• Check in on your friends and acquaintances.  Sometimes all we need right now is a “how are you doing?”

Ideas when we get back to shows:

• “Clap for everyone”.  There should be cheering for all the placings from the whole stands.  
• Choose to look up and smile at people as you walk around the grounds. 
• Do not whisper and point while watching the warmup ring, classes, etc.  Even if what you are saying is positive, the “vibe” it sends out isn’t helpful to the environment we want to cultivate at the show. 
• If you see a need, and you can help, offer your help.  
• Be patient with show commissioners and offer your help.  Yes, you have paid a lot to be at the shows, but they are working for nothing or for pennies-on-the-dollar compared to the amount of work they do.  Be kind! 
• Help new trainers feel welcome and supported.  They are already doing the hard work of trying to establish themselves among people who have been a trainer for decades.  The industry needs new trainers so please help them feel valued! 

Thank you for reading!  We look forward to seeing positivity, love, support, community and friendship spread like wildfire through our industry!